An Obidient Child

You told me

repeatly

I have to be strong

I have to be independent

Life is very hard

that I need to be tough

I need to be on my own

You keep telling me those

I have my own thoughts

Anything that reverse of what you thought

The underlying basic that always be the same

I want to live simply

There might be oneday

That I can reach my dream

Dreams that beyond your understanding

Because you never understand a single thing about me

I can't be your obidient child anymore

It's weird even to myself

I can't feel sorry anymore

I guess I am grown up more than I know

Who knows

Once upon a time
There are two roads in front of us
Some people say choice is dangerous
Because it means you cannot turn back
Still we choose to be brave
And belive in our hearts
One day we can reach the stars

All who enters her dies
For the truth it belies

We were trapped in fate
Even though our hearts are right
Still we commit the sins
The sins cannot be forgiven
But we can only move on because of that sins.

No words can express the feelings

Not even the fallen tears 

There are too many things to be said

But don't know how to say it
Everythings stay in my heart
But it's okay
Because you can say it

There's no end to sadness
Only an everflowing pain
Pain that we know very well
But will never get used to
Because this heart will never accept nor denied
These shattered feelings
Tear each other apart
Except you leave the past behind

Some people choose the easy way
And belive this is just temporary
Some choose to go to a far place
And throw away their life
I really want peace
But this anger cannot be quelled
The rage consumed me
Too late to be contained
And the craziness suddenly flipped on
Only you want everyone to get along

Still
What's lie in front of us ?
Who can predict the future ?
Can we truly not able to change fate ?
Can we not grasp the star ?
Will it was in vain ?
No one knows

Destiny

Some people destinied to be a mother
They are blessed with children
Even marriage fall apart
They might not be the best wife
Yet they are very good mother

Some people destinied to be single
They choose not to get married for life
They might have not find the right one
They prefer to focus on their own passion
The purpose of their life

Some people destinied to be a lover
Promising to be there for each other
They bring the best of each other
They just being good together
They connect deeply like soulmate

Just a simple reminder
Whatever your destiny is
The rule of life is
Do not get attached

Anything could be gone
It is not our own life
Because life itself is a gift


~Selene

(Selene is my pen name)

Book Review: Little Fires Everywhere (2017)

Synopsis:

Life in Shaker Heights are meticulously planned. From its road, its house color to the successful lives of its residents. Elena Richardson is one of its resident who's really hold her own rules to live her own life. Yet when her last child, Izzy burned their family house and peoples really talked about it. She and Shaker Heights's residents wonder what behind her daughter' actions.

Review:

This book just uniquely written by Celeste Ng. This is the first time I read her book. As other good fiction, this book provoke thought, yet the feelings are involved too. At beginning of one hundred pages, I started to get bored but after almost two hundred pages, things started to get interesting and what's makes this book good is the mystery that intrigue curiousity to whoever read it and this book has surprised ending.

This book is young adult story. It told many things that happens around us, like free sex, abortion, surrogate and adoption things. I think the main individual of this novel focus on Elena Richardson and Mia Wright. Mia Wright just move in to Winslow house, the asset that belong to Richardson family and having Elena as the landlord at first feel like a blessing because Elena gave cheap rent price because she always want to look good in front of peoples. She rent her asset to Mr Yang and Mia Wright.

Mark and Linda McCullough want to adopt chinese baby who originally named May Ling but they changed the baby' name to Mirabelle. The baby itself was found in front of fire station office and because they don't have baby on their own, Linda really want to adopt May Ling. The Richardsons went to Mirabelle/May Ling first birthday party hosted by Linda McCullough, Lexie was really love Mirabelle, how cute the baby is and gushed over the week after. Mia heard her when she's working at Richardson's house and she remembered her friend Bebe Chow who can't remember her baby. She told her the whole thing and tell Bebe to strive for her baby. Therefore, Bebe Chow pursue this case to local trial. Bebe wants to take her baby back, but McCullough who hired Billy Richardson, Elena' husband won't be easily give up the baby.

Elena Richardson did not this let go easily. With her will power, she tried to find out about Mia' dark background and she even asked Elizabeth her old friend to look the list of abortion patients in case that Bebe went of abortion. This request is illegal and Elizabeth rejected her request but somehow Elena still steal a glance at her computer while she's away and this was break their relationship, because Elena seems to asked Elizabeth to pay back her kindness in the past times. Nothing stops Elena, Elena seems try anything possible to make the case win for her husband and her friend, McCullough. She is an ambitious journalist who didn't give up easily and have her own rules to live her own life. She wants everything to be perfect on her own term, good education, good appearance, good husband, a lot of good children, good house and good life that makes her proud in the community.

As we know, something unpredictable can happen in life. Lexie, Elena' oldest daughter went to clinic and use Pearl' name to cover her. Lexie had abortion and asked Pearl to be her company. Trip, Elena's son was secretly screwing over Pearl. Moody, Elena' third child was Pearl' good friend and was dissapointed because he felt Pearl'd rejected his feelings by secretly dated his brother Trip and then Izzy, the last child that always makes Elena worried. Izzy is the most critical girl in the family. Izzy always fight with Elena because Elena is always restrict Izzy from anything yet give the freedom for the rest of her siblings. Yet Izzy feel connection with Mia and she wants to follow her path to be an artist and live in freedom like Mia did. Izzy know the truth about what happens, what her siblings did to Pearl and what her mother did to Mia. She can't stand the ugliness of her family, therefore she burned down their family house because she wants they all start a new life. After this fire incident by Izzy, their neighbourhood in Shaker Height still talking about it. After Izzy's gone, Elena found that beyond her bad attitude towards Izzy, she'll missed her and as mother' instinct, she determined to find her lost daughter.

This story also reminds me of a mother, however bad she is, she won't ever easily give up for her child. Like Elena, will strive to find Izzy. Like Mia who keeps running to different states just to survive with Pearl, her surrogate baby with Mr. Ryan. Like Bebe, who's sneaking at night at McCullough' house to steal May Ling and comeback to China, her home country. I personally think this book could be the best gift to mother on mother's day which just happens yesterday, this book also for everyone that likes young adult novels. This book really blow your mind with the details and ending.

Rating: 4.5/5


Kind regards,

~Selene.

Game Review : Fatal Twelve

Game trailer

Song

Dear All, 

I am glad that I can play this game when I still can. After all, I doubt that I can play this game in the near future. I already know that I will like this game since I see it on Kickstarter and it really delivers. 

Fatal Twelve. The name really befitting its story. This game tell story about twelve people who died at the same time and now appear in Court of fate to revive once again should they managed to become the last person in Court of fate. One way or another, it was chunige. I know it can also be moege and yuri one though. But since romance is not the theme, I can live with it. 

I really like the graphic. It reminds me of Saga Frontier. It uses hand drawing style instead of computer graphic for the characters. It makes it more lively. I appreciate it. The sound is sad and beautiful. It's not too outstanding but it really emotes the story very well. I am a little disappointed since it is not in extra. Fortunately you can buy the OST as DLC. Cannot wait for it. The characters are great though. I mean all of them have backbone but it was understandable since it was the most important for the plot. Otherwise, the game lost half of its strength. Last but not least, I think the story is the greatest aspect, especially the ending. It was very sad and touching. Prepare some tissues before playing this game. Of course, it could have been better with longer and more complex story. But I think its quite good already. Before I forget, this game reminds me of Sorcery Jokers in term of philosophy. So that's a plus in my eyes. 

In light of my experience playing this game, I really recommend this game for visual novel fans, even for yuri haters. It was really minimum. No sex or kiss or whatever. 

Rating : 9 of 10 stars

Regards, 
Angela

Game Review : Sharin no Kuni Himawari no Shoujo

Dear All, 

At last I can finish this game. It's one of the best game that I have anticipated since I play G Senjou no Maou. It was written and develop by the same company after all. Many people like to compare both games. Now I can write and share my opinion regarding this game. 

Sharin no Kuni Himawari no Shoujo is game located in fictional country. It used special system as punishment. And there are special person to enforced it called Special High Individual Class. Our protagonist is Morita Kenichi, Special High Individual Cadet. As part of his final exam, he have to rehabilitated his childhood friend which is Sachi, Touka, and Natsumi. As usual, between these three characters, one will become his lover or maybe not. Like G Senjou No Maou, there will be some twist here and there. 

For the game aspect itself, I have no problem. The graphic is great, the voice acting too. Unfortunately the sound is below than expectation. Nonetheless, it stills enjoyable. Now the most important part is the story. I really like the unique story. But somehow I feel the epilogue is lacking compare to G Senjou no Maou. Besides, there's no alternate route in this one except for different epilogue for heroines. Still it was much happier than G Senjou no Maou ending. The characters. Personally I like Morita Kenichi better than Azai Kyousuke. Maybe that's my bias because I prefer smart character to happy go lucky guy. 

Anyway, I really recommend this game for visual novel lovers. It is not your usual moege. But at the same time, not too heavy. 

Rating : 9 of 10 stars

Regards, 

Angela

Book Review: Aroma Karsa (2018)

Synopsis: 

Raras Prayagung determined to find Puspa Karsa. When she found Jati Wesi, she had faith that this time Puspa Karsa will be hers.

Review:

This is the latest book of my favorite author from my hometown country, Dee Lestari. This book is written in Indonesian, but I reviewed this in English with hope that this book will be translated to English speaking countries and anyone that's reading this will have opportunity to read this book as I have my own copy now.

This is not the first book I read from Dee Lestari, previously I read her Supernova series, though I am not reading all the series but I liked her since I read Supernova and now this book's done its magic again in better version.

Jati Wesi is someone who's had special abilities with his nose, his olfactory organs is able to smell something very detail and from afar. He later meet Suma, Raras Prayagung' step daughter. Suma has same ability as Jati Wesi. Suma need to take epilepsy medicine to control her smell ability. Jati was picked by Nurdin Suroso and lived in Bantar Gebang where all the garbages from city' going there.
Jati is getting used to smell everything from the garbages. He worked as perfumer at Attarwalla shop, gardener at Graha Royal Bekasi complex, fertilizer factory staff and as Nurdin' staff at his decorative plants shop. Yet all his money never be his, he needs to give all his money to his step dad, Nurdin Suroso.

Oneday, Jati was arrested because Khalil his boss at Attarwala shop was arrested by police because the copyright of perfume of Puspa Ananta by Kemara Company. Police arrested both Khalil and Jati Wesi. Raras Prayagung as Kemara' owner promised to release Jati and Khalil as long Jati wants to work under her. Jati agreed. Later Raras bring Jati to live in her own house and introduce Jati to Suma. Since the first time, Jati arrived at their house, Suma already hate Jati and she keeps complain about Jati to her boyfriend, Arya and her mother Raras. Suma thought Jati was her competitor to get Raras' heart.

Raras still determined to find Puspa Karsa, so she makes the team for it. She collected the members, captain Jindra as security, Lambang the archeologist, Iwan as plant verificator and Jati to find Puspa Karsa with his special olfactory system. Yet, Jati rejected Raras' request. So Raras asked Suma instead. Jati Helped Suma to free from her epilepsy mediciation, she still not really confident enough, so she asked Jati to accompany her during the Puspa Karsa expedition. When arrived at Lawu mountain, Jati suddenly find special small purple fruit which known as manisrejo fruit, he feel the forest around him changed and he suddenly saw the humans who can climb very fast like monkey. Jati learned that they are Banaspati, human with special abilities. He met Empu Smarakandi who tell him that Anung is not his biological father. Jati always believed that Anung who is in jail is his biological father and keep visiting him for about 15 years. His fail admission didn't make him to upset, he come to that forest by himself.

During this visit, Jati learnt that he is banaspati and twenty six years ago, when Raras Prayagung came to the Dwarapala, Anung was captured by her. Anung brought his wife, Ambrik and her own daughter, Suma. Because at that time, its better to let Anung' family gone to protect the whole Dwarapala' community, Empu Smarakandi said that one banaspati had to be released and that banapati is Jati Wesi. Anung, Ambrik and the two babies (Suma and Jati) were running because they can't go back to Dwarapala. Later Anung did the Girah Rudira. Empu Smarakandi once said to them that Sanghyang Batari Karsa already aim Ambrik to incarnate and if they didn't do the Gurah Rudira, Sanghyang Batari Karsa will inherit to their daughter, Suma. So, Anung did the Girah Rudira to her wife, Ambrik. Anung went to jail because of this and Raras Prayagung took Suma with her, with hope that Suma will find Puspa Karsa for her.

Puspa karsa itself is dangerous plant who had special smell to attract peoples to get whatever they wants. Last history said Mahesa Guning who is king at Majapahit era, married his wife who is Puspa Karsa' incarnation. Mahesa Guning attracted strongly to her wife' smell as Puspa Karsa. Mahesa Guning believed that that Puspa Karsa' smell will bring him to be no. 1 king. Later Mahesa is not the the king anymore, he looks like a beggar and he killed his wife as Empu Smarakandi' instruction. The Puspa Karsa' spirit itself is locked in a plant until the next incarnation who is Ambrik and Suma as Ambrik' only daughter. Jati'd fallen in love with Suma and Suma loved him too. He determined to secure Suma from Puspa Karsa.

There are few things I still hope to see in this book, when Empu Smarakandi gave dewandaru pills to Jati for him to pass it to Anung to help his amnesia. I hope to see how far Anung can remember again. One more thing that I wonder how Puspa Karsa' incanation to be succesful after Jati' hard effort to save Suma and hit the Puspa Karsa' center with Kiongkong' poisons.

I really recommend this book, this book just beautifully written by Dee Lestari. I think this is the best book I ever read by Dee Lestari so far.

Rating: 4.5/5


Kind regards,


Selene.

Book Review: The Man in the Black Suit (2017)

Synopsis:

Acacia acts as replacement for her colleague Marcel to serve the most prestigious and attractive man named Nicholas Cassirer. She both irritated and captivated to his charms.

Review:

This is the first time I read Sylvain Reynard' novels. Unlike most novel I read who shows the real name of the author. Sylvain Reynard is just a pen name of anonymous Canadian writer. I can say this novel has a good writting skills and plot. Beside, this novel also tells other things beside love including culture differences, religions, language and thoughts.

Acacia just works for few months as a concierge. When her colleague named Marcel has been attacked, she acts as his replacement. She has to deal with the honored guest Pierre Breckman. She was irritated with his temper. Later when she saw Pierre Breckman covered the lost art, she reported him to her ex boyfriend Luc. Luc brought his agent Brb to investigate further but at the end release Pierre Breckman with the reason its reproduction painting. This incident caused Acacia to be demoted as night shift concierge and threateaned to be fired by her manager. She later meet the work agency and apparently find Nicholas Cassirer as the man behind that. She learnt that Nicholas Cassirer is the real name of Pierre Breckman. Nicholas offered Acacia a job as his assistant which she refused. Oneday, after Acacia night shift' ends, she's being attacked by anonymous man, Nicholas' security saved her and Nicholas insist Acacia' need to get away for a while. While they were in Santorini, both of them falling in love and they started their relationship. Yet their relationship hit the rocky point when Acacia fight Nicholas' urge to kill his enemy. Acacia thought revenge is only open more violent and killing others instead of finding end or peace. Eventually Nicholas understand what Acacia' point of view. They accept the differences between them, Acacia is half jordanian and muslim  , whereas Nicholas is jews. They can accept the differences and stand for their love.

I think the ideas and the problems of Nicholas and Acacia' relationship is pretty matured. I like their love story. This is beautifully written by Sylvain Reynard. I recommend this book if you're looking into deep love story.

Rating: 4/5


Kind regards,


Selene.

Film Review: Downsizing (2017)

Synopsis:

American researchers successfully conduct experiments called downsizing. Humans have choices to be downsizing and have a new life.

Review:

I think this film has very unique idea, where humans have choice to be shrink in size or just having current life. There is new world called leisureland, where downsizing humans can have new life. If in real life they can't afford to buy a house like Paul Safranek and his wife Audrey Safranek. Both of them tired of their stressful life in real bigsize world and wants to enter downsizing world. Apparently when Paul already done the procedures. His wife, Audrey called off in the last minute and  left Paul alone. One year later, they have divorced and Paul stucked in his new downsizing world. Later, he meet disabled viatnemese woman and falled in love with her and they ship together to Norway and he wants to live with her.

The ending of this movie is pretty hanging for me, where Paul brought food for old man at the poor district in downsizing world. I am not sure what the messages of this film. Paul seems happy with his life in downsizing world. Paul was stressful with his real life because he and his wife got the house loan application rejected and they feel frustrated of their job too. So, Paul decided to have new life in downsizing world and he seems happy with the vietnamese lady that he helped and meet later. I don't see the good points of this film, it's just an adventure of human who downsizing and have a life beyond he can ever imagined.

If you look for weekend movie or if you interest in adventure film, you can try this one.

Rating: 5/10


Kind regards,

Selene.

Choice

Once 
I thought I was perfect
Live a good life
Plan for good future
Dream for the star
Everything was simple

In fact
I am just being ignorant
Close my eyes
Choose the easy way
Let others do the heavy work
Ignore the sacrifices

The price of not knowing
The price of standing still
I thought there's none
The truth
I cannot pay for it
I cannot accept it
Ignorance is not bliss

Making decision
One over another
You have to find the courage
To accept the pain and regret
To live with the mistakes



Regards, 
Angela