Dream

Once I have a dream

Dream to reach the sky

Seeing the world

Not from a far 

But side by side

But dream is just dream

It began beautifully

And end painfully

Leaving behind past memory

And deep regret

I want to achieve my dream

But it was not possible

It's beyond my reach

No matter how hard I try 

It just never be mine

I have to wake up 

And face reality

That I fail to achieve my dream

Live a miserable life

I cannot forgive myself

A path open in front of me

With no way to achieve my dream 

I can only follow with empty heart

And fill it with new memory 

Even though I cannot break free

Unable to truly accept nor deny

What supposed to be my reality

Hiding my pain 

Hiding my dream 

I lose myself

Regards, 

Angela

Purify

There’s one sinner

Deaf to all true words

Take all the risks

Based on her belief

One sin lead to another

Until it hits it’s rock bottom

Life is hard

Words are harsh

Universe has punishments

I seem on my very limit

Tears poured out

My heart broken to pieces

I shout my agony to you

My deep sorrow and repentance

It’s all killing me inside

All the best I had is gone

You’re the only one I had left

Purify me heart

Wash my dirty soul

There I could be pure to you

-Selene-

Refresh

Somehow 

You just need to stop doing

You need to stop thinking

Just look out

and take a deep breath

Everything will be vanished one day

There is nothing..

Refresh yourself.

-Selene.

Innocent

People say I am special
I have power to see destiny
And so I begin my journey
To create my own country

I need power
To protect my beloved ones
Sacrificing other people
I lose my innocence

Wonder where it gone wrong
I fulfill my dream
And left with deep regret
To gain something mean lose another thing

Doing the right thing
Protecting the weak and find peaceful world
How can that be wrong
Even if there's countless sufferings in the way


Regards,
Angela

Broken

Your words are empty

It was all lies

I fall into your sweet words

And then I was broken 

You hurt me
and left me behind
With life full of sorrows
I know I really was broken

You broke me
Thorough and thorough
With nothing but hollow inside
Cannot feel and yet full of pain

Still even then 

This broken body and hearts

Will find the way

To become whole again

Regards, 

Angela

consequences

You warned me
I ignored
I was flooded with my imagination
Beliving myself
that I was living my dream
A dream that lead me to nothing
A void dream that give me
hopelessness
Now I am sitting alone
looking at the sky with contrite heart
realizing I have to live with the consequences


~Selene.

The blame game

It is one of your speciality

Blaming other people

Showing them

You are always the right one

You keep blaming me

For everything that happens

It’s always been me

Your favorite words

It’s dancing between us

Rocking us Upside down

Should we put an end

Or resume this game...

~Selene

Legend

I want to change fate
Break free from the chains of past
Even when the whole world against us
Shattering me into pieces

I only want to see her smile
Free her from the curse
Wading through thousands of years
Searching for happiness

My hands were tainted
Living an unforgivable life
Trapped forever within past, present, and future
Still this heart cannot give up

Like unreachable stars in the sky
Our long journey is beautiful
With many precious memories

Transcending time and space

Our feelings cannot be broken

We will overcome these trials
We will wait for each other forever
and bring an end to this legend


Regards, 
Angela

King

For a long time,
I carry this burden
And live a tragic life
Discarding my humanity
To protect my country

Therefore,
I only have one wish
Wish to redo everything
Wish to save my country
Even when my country destroy me

Unfortunately,
I cannot save my country
My wish will not be granted
For it is wrong to change the past
And rejecting one own existence

Now I understand,
If I keep doing the right things until the end
I don't need to redo my life
Even if I cannot save my country
I can die in peace


Regards,
Angela

A while

I have to remind myself

for the thousand times

that life is short

This is only a while

nothing last forever

There is an end for everything

Why takes something seriously

if nothing is belong to me

I will leave everything at the end

I should end my tears

Yet I couldn't

life is getting hard each day

I always get what I don't expect

The one that I wanted always hiding

I really need your help to free me 

I should be grateful 

even for only one good thing in my life

Forgive and forget all the bitterness 

-Selene

Goodbye

I have nothing to say 

But to offer silent words and smile

To convey whats really in my hearts

For we both know the cruel reality

Silence is golden

Because words can hurt so much

You don't need words to express your feelings

Actions speak louder than words

We cannot change what have happened

We can only regret that things don't turn out like what we want

But regret and sadness can be change into happiness

As long as we have the courage to leave the past behind

Everything can begin 

Everything can also end

But that's not the end of our journey

We have to cherish each memories

And move on with our life

Regards, 

Angela

Sin

I want you to know

I am sinner

To fulfill my dreams
I cast aside my conscience
Close my eyes to not see the reality

Everthing I did
I did it out of love
I want you to be happy
Even if I have to live this unbearable life
Suffering until the end

I choose the evil path
Sold my soul to the devil
For my wish to be granted
I wonder whether it's worth it
I wonder what you think about it

Several times I want to stop
Walking this treacherous road
Only to continue
Because I cannot turn back
Stopping is not an option
We don't have that privilege

No one at fault
For not able to live happy life
That's just our fate
Something we cannot control
No amount of regret can change

We do what we have to do
Not because we believe it's right
But because that's what we know
How to continue our life
We live in this world after all

Right or wrong
This is our life
Not an ideal one
Still cannot be left behind
We can only dream for better one
Someday in the future

What goes around comes around
We cannot always be right
Much less win in this life
As long as we do our best
God will do the rest


Regards,
Angela

Oneday

You told me once

You never believe karma

You always believe 

What you do want to believe

Yet I believe 

What goes around comes around

No matter what we did

It's always come back to us eventually

Life is not about showing yourself
Comparing that yourself is highter than others
It means nothing beside your pride
Pride that doesn't benefit others

I hope that oneday
You learnt your lessons
Life isn't always about yourself
Life is about giving and loving

-Selene

An Obidient Child

You told me

repeatly

I have to be strong

I have to be independent

Life is very hard

that I need to be tough

I need to be on my own

You keep telling me those

I have my own thoughts

Anything that reverse of what you thought

The underlying basic that always be the same

I want to live simply

There might be oneday

That I can reach my dream

Dreams that beyond your understanding

Because you never understand a single thing about me

I can't be your obidient child anymore

It's weird even to myself

I can't feel sorry anymore

I guess I am grown up more than I know

Who knows

Once upon a time
There are two roads in front of us
Some people say choice is dangerous
Because it means you cannot turn back
Still we choose to be brave
And belive in our hearts
One day we can reach the stars

But all who enter the stars dies
For the truth it belies

We were trapped in fate
Unable to be truly free

Even though our hearts are right

Still we commit the sins
The sins cannot be forgiven
But we can only move on because of that sins.

No words can express the feelings

Not even the fallen tears 

There are too many things to be said

But don't know how to say it
Everythings stay in my heart
But it's okay
Because you can say it

There's no end to sadness
Only an everflowing pain
Pain that we know very well
But will never get used to
Because this heart will never accept nor denied
These shattered feelings
Tear each other apart
Only you want everyone to get along

We want peace
But these hearts won't let go
Our fate cannot be changed
Still we never give up
Chasing our dreams mean suffering
Too many things have been broken
Except you choose to leave the past behind

Still
Can we enter the stars ?
Can we still be alive and achieve our dreams ?
Is this all fate ?
Can our hearts be truly free ?
These lingering questions
And our contradictory life
Our contradictory feelings
Who knows the answers


Regards,
Angela

Destiny

Some people destinied to be a mother
They are blessed with children
Even marriage fall apart
They might not be the best wife
Yet they are very good mother

Some people destinied to be single
They choose not to get married for life
They might have not find the right one
They prefer to focus on their own passion
The purpose of their life

Some people destinied to be a lover
Promising to be there for each other
They bring the best of each other
They just being good together
They connect deeply like soulmate

Just a simple reminder
Whatever your destiny is
The rule of life is
Do not get attached

Anything could be gone
It is not our own life
Because life itself is a gift


~Selene

(Selene is my pen name)

Choice

Once 
I thought I was perfect
Live a good life
Plan for good future
Dream for the star
Everything was simple

In fact
I am just being ignorant
Close my eyes
Choose the easy way
Let others do the heavy work
Ignore the sacrifices

The price of not knowing
The price of standing still
I thought there's none
The truth
I cannot pay for it
I cannot accept it
Ignorance is not bliss

Making decision
One over another
You have to find the courage
To accept the pain and regret
To live with the mistakes



Regards, 
Angela

Wish

Once I had a dream
Dream that no longer can be fulfilled
Still I wish 
To fulfill my dream

You might have been right
There's the truth in my soul
The mistakes of the past
A path I could never turn back on
As long as I was shackled by ghost of the past
I wouldn't be able to fulfill my wish

I knew from the very start
I couldn't do anything for this girl
Still I wish to save her
To grant her the happiness she deserved
Even if that wish was doomed
I still refused to let go

Even if we are wrong
We should never give up
It might not be the right one
But we cannot always be right
We can only find the resolve to move forward

I know
This life will be paved with misery
It may not lead to the happy ending
But we can walk together
And forgive each other
Even if our dreams remain ever unfulfilled


Regards, 
Angela

Myself

I know
I am really foolish
Keep doing the same things
Keep following the same path
Keep making the same mistakes
I cannot escape

I thought
I can change
The regret
It was trapping me
Unable to break free
I keep hurting myself

I realized
So long ago
I reached my limit
Deceiving myself
Thinking I can change
In fact I am stay still

You know  
I am sinner
Leaving my conscience
Warping my mind
Clouding my heart
Unable to atone
Like shadow in the dark

Still I cannot stop
Everything I did
I did it out of love
Love give me power
To overcome the pain
To live with regrets
To sacrifice my soul
To accept my fate
Forever


Regards,
Angela

Confusion

This feeling I can't hold
The melody of madness
Coming from emptiness
I made one wrong move
And lose the whole world

Unable to think
Unable to choose
I were trapped
Between past, present, and future

Not know what's right
nor what's wrong
I can only embrace
Things far beyond my mind

These two roads
One lead to the future
And the other to another life
Creating divergent
Leading to confusion
It's dangerous things


Regards,
Angela