Pendosa

Petir menggelegar di malam hari
Hujan deras mengguyur kota
Hantaman petir yang mengagetkan semua insan
Alarm mobil yang tiada hentinya berdengung
Ada yang sadar..
Ada pula yang sudah terlelap dalam mimpinya..
Guntur ini bisa dianggap sebuah petanda
Petunjuk bahwa semesta sedang murka
Atas kelalaian dan ketidakpedulian manusia
Manusia-manusia yang terhanyut pada drama kehidupan
Kehidupan yang berisi suratan takdir yang tak bisa dipahami
Setiap makhluk hanya menjalani isi buku kehidupannya masing-masing
Takdir memang tak dapat dihindari
Akan tetapi manusia masih diberi kesempatan untuk memilih
Berbagai pilihan untuk bereaksi terhadap kehidupan ini
Ada yang sudah nyaman menjadi pendosa
Pendosa cerdik yang membuat semuanya menjadi indah
Akan tetapi hitam tidak dapat bercampur dengan putih
Suatu saat setiap makhluk akan dihakimi termasuk para pendosa
Sudah siapkah engkau?




~Selene

consequences

You warned me
I ignored
I was flooded with my imagination
Beliving myself
that I was living my dream
A dream that lead me to nothing
A void dream that give me
hopelessness
Now I am sitting alone
looking at the sky with contrite heart
realizing I have to live with the consequences


~Selene.

The blame game

It is one of your speciality

Blaming other people

Showing them

You are always the right one

You keep blaming me

For everything that happens

It’s always been me

Your favorite words

It’s dancing between us

Rocking us Upside down

Should we put an end

Or resume this game...

~Selene

A while

I have to remind myself

for the thousand times

that life is short

This is only a while

nothing last forever

There is an end for everything

Why takes something seriously

if nothing is belong to me

I will leave everything at the end

I should end my tears

Yet I couldn't

life is getting hard each day

I always get what I don't expect

The one that I wanted always hiding

I really need your help to free me 

I should be grateful 

even for only one good thing in my life

Forgive and forget all the bitterness 

-Selene

Oneday

You told me once

You never believe karma

You always believe 

What you do want to believe

Yet I believe 

What goes around comes around

No matter what we did

It's always come back to us eventually

Life is not about showing yourself
Comparing that yourself is highter than others
It means nothing beside your pride
Pride that doesn't benefit others

I hope that oneday
You learnt your lessons
Life isn't always about yourself
Life is about giving and loving

-Selene

An Obidient Child

You told me

repeatly

I have to be strong

I have to be independent

Life is very hard

that I need to be tough

I need to be on my own

You keep telling me those

I have my own thoughts

Anything that reverse of what you thought

The underlying basic that always be the same

I want to live simply

There might be oneday

That I can reach my dream

Dreams that beyond your understanding

Because you never understand a single thing about me

I can't be your obidient child anymore

It's weird even to myself

I can't feel sorry anymore

I guess I am grown up more than I know

Destiny

Some people destinied to be a mother
They are blessed with children
Even marriage fall apart
They might not be the best wife
Yet they are very good mother

Some people destinied to be single
They choose not to get married for life
They might have not find the right one
They prefer to focus on their own passion
The purpose of their life

Some people destinied to be a lover
Promising to be there for each other
They bring the best of each other
They just being good together
They connect deeply like soulmate

Just a simple reminder
Whatever your destiny is
The rule of life is
Do not get attached

Anything could be gone
It is not our own life
Because life itself is a gift


~Selene

(Selene is my pen name)

Reasons

You're gone again
It's been so many times
I even could not count it
You treat me as I am a robot
Robot with no feeling
You made me get through all alone
for thousand days and nights
You have your reasons
Reasons that will be your company forever
Because I can't be your company
You made feel worthless
That is more than enough
I hope oneday
When you're in there and go nowhere
You'll wish I was there
Because I will live miles away from you


~Selene (A-22/03/18)

Broken Promises

Leaving you is my wish
I have reasons for it
You are fulled of lies
Your mouth full of empty sweetness
You are so contradictional
Your promises are as empty as your heart
You never love someone
Love is just manipulation weapons
You never sacrifice for someone
All you cared just how much someone sacrificed for you
You think life is created for you
You never know being in pain
You are a liar
That word decribed you precisely
You burned all your promises to ashes
I prayed that one day
Life turned away its face from you
Then you will understand
The feeling of being fooled and hurt
I hope you get your karma
Because you made me live in lies
day after day
for the rest of my life..




~Selene (A-19/3/18)

Crossroads

I am at the crossroads
Standing between roads
Full of doubt at heart
Confusion at mind

Heart is nowhere to go
Unanswered questions
Too many things to do
yet nowhere to start

Life should be alive
No matter what
Survival is a must
It makes life always go on

Whatever I choose
I shouldn't regret it at the end
Road lead to a new path
A life that should be grateful about


Kind regards,

Selene.

Night note

I am scattered
fears consumed me thoroughly
I said this thousand times
yet i hear nothing

Many questions in my mind
how long should I keep my agonized soul
truly deeply weary inside
yet i can not see any light ahead


kind regards,

Selene.

Dim

I remember that night
I look at black sky
It was moonless
Wonder what's beneath the darkness

I am alone at the room
The wall seems far away
Ceilings are too high to reach
The light is dimmed

My life is dimmed
I couldn't find brightness in my path
Yet I am trying hard to get out from darkness
I am at dim state

The future seems blurred
Past seems unreal
The present seems dimmed
I am still here waiting..


-Selene.

Torment

No one know the truth
Not even myself
How could life be so unfair
Torment me as always

The body cannot hold
The soul cannot bear
The feeling cannot mask
One can only wonder how to survive

Smile in the morning
Tears in the night
This is my twisted life
Living the best that I can

People say it was not meant to be
Not even with the work of fate
But who can guess what the future lies
Faith and hope play no role in the end


Regards,
Angela

Empty

I walk through night
Sky is dark as always
Yet I see nothing
No moon and no stars

I walk through morning
Sky is bright
Yet I see clouds
No sun appeared

My life may appear filled
Coloured on surfaces
Yet I feel empty inside
Nothing but hatred and sorrow

I move on with my life
Manipulated myself with hopes and positivity
Yet outcome still a mystery
May my life filled with blessing and contentment


Kind regards,

Selene.

Night Walker

I am a night walker
I feel the night energy around me
Wind that moves the leaves
Darkness that wash away my bad feeling

I feel safe in darkness
Like i could crying, laughing and talking in secret
We understand each other like best friend
Only me and darkness

I am fading in darkness
Like nobody knows me
Nobody sees me
Only darkness that revealed the most pain I feel


Regards,

~Selene.

My Life

You ask me about my life
My life full of pains and sufferings
Pains hurt the heart
Sufferings kill the soul

I cannot escape life
Life I am not living
People say life is fair
Fairness I cannot see

I cannot become free
Trapped in world without love
Flying to the star is my dream
Dream I want to reach

Many smiles are too little
Few tears are too much
Sadness and regrets are the only things I feel
These feelings stay in my heart

I feel for every moment
Moment that feels very empty
But emptiness is not in my heart
My heart only echoes my feelings

Someone say life is about choice
Choice I rarely have
Happiness is one thing I want the most
Still it won't come to me

People told me to keep my hope
Hope is necessary to continue life
I really do not have other way
Even when it is the last thing I can do

My best friend said I should not give up
Acting is the only way to survive
Still I cannot mask it any longer
I may choose to run away from my life



Regards,
Angela

Illusion

The wind blows very hard
Erase everything in my heart
Still I can't let all go
For the memory was too much

Love is an illusion
Only true love is real
Because what we have is not real
Both of us lose our hearts

It was not supposed to be
And yet it happened very soundly
I don't lose the faith
Even when the hope falter slightly

You and I follow different path
Path that was determined by fate
Even when we hold each other hand
We still reach to different end



Regards,
Angela

Only You

I see you
You came to my life
And change my dream
You are in my eyes

You show me the way
Full of sincerity and honesty
Side by side walking together
Still we were not meant to be

I keep seeing you
Following the same path
Even when it was not our fate
You are everything to me

You are the only one
But you never see me
Because I'm not everything you need
Still my heart only for you

Will you ever understand me ?



Regards,
Angela

Rain

I've been crying all my life
You listen to my prays
You know my sufferings
All these pains was too much to bear

I keep staring for the sky
Praying my fate will change
Suddenly the rain is falling hard
And I've got sorry on my mind

Life never been simple
I keep walking
Even when I'm not seeing
This feeling cannot change

I cannot go back
You've made that pretty clear
I can only stay hoping
Happiness will come to my way


Regards,
Angela

Life

I am not looking for many things
I've been disappointed all my life
In pains I cannot escaped
And mystery I cannot explained

I was born to be a loser
But here I want to change
Because so many things have happened
And my heart cannot bear

You say it was not my fault
And I believe you with my heart
Still to follow the true path
One should made a sacrifice

I am searching for happiness
For once I am truly trying
Because you've told me it was possible
I want to make it right


Regards,
Angela